Wo Pyar Ke Piche Ki Khamoshi – Poorvi

Iss Site ko maine 2 sal pahle join kiya but 6 months bad aaj mein fir se activate hui hu..Aaj mein apni story post kar rhi hu..Thodi si LONG hai but Poori jarur Padna.:)
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Bada hi Anokha hota hai Pyar..Aur dusri taraf hoti hein Majbooriyan..Kabhi-2 Kuch batein Bahut Takleef deti hein jinhe hum chahkar bhi kisi se share nhi kar sakte..
Apne Pyar ko Man hi man m chhupakr ghut-ghut jeena kya hota hai..ye sirf wahi samjh sakta hai jiska pyar adhoora rha ho..Mein bhi aaj Apni story post kar rhi hu..Ek esi Sachayi jisko mein aaj tak kisi ke samne nhi bayan kar Payi..Yaha mein apni Love story ke sath-2 apne dil m chuupe har gham ko share kar rhi hu…
Mein 23 sal ki Poorvi hu jo apne sapne poora karna Chahti hai..PG complete kar chuki hu..abhi job ki prepration kar rhi hu..Private job to easily mil sakti hai itna sab kam to aata hai..but Papa ki Afsar Bitiya banna hai..Mein Life m hmesa pyar ko bakwas samjhti thi..bs smjhti thi ki family hi sab kuch hoti hai..
Ek Chhoti si jagah ki rahne wali mein apne sapne poore karne ke liye school complete karke Jaipur jaisi city m aa gyi apne bhaiyon ke sath..Ek Girls college m admission liya..Ek Ajnabee city m adjust karna bahut muskil tha..Sehmi hui si class m padti thi..sab majak bnate the..study bhi samjh nhi aati thi..Upar se ek bhai bat bat par mujh par hath uthata tha..Family ko bhi kuch nhi bta pati thi..ki kahi mere sapne adhure nhi reh jayen..bilkul akeli ho gyi thi mein..ek bar to mere hi ek cousion ne mere sath galat karne ki kosis ki..sapne poore karne to aa gyi mein..but jarurt padne par kisi apne ka suppot nhi tha..Ese hi struggle karte-2 waqt gujarta gaya..aur
Jab mein 16 sal ki thi to meri life m ek Saurya Naam ka banda aaya..jisse mein 1st time ek family function m mili..but tab jyada jan-pahchan nhi hui..fir kuch dino bad FB par bat hone lgi humari..hum dono ek dusre ko samjhne lge aur mujhe jyada waqt nhi lga usse emotionally attach hone m kyuki us tym sirf wahi tha jisne mujhe samjha..Man hi man maine usko apna best friend man liya tha..humara Fb par baton ka silsila kareeb 1 sal se jyada chala..ek din mere bhai ko pta chal gya ki mein Saurya se bat karti hu to usne mujhe bhut mara..aur meri batein bnd karwa di..usne mujhe realize karwa diya ki maine kisi ldke se bat karke bhut bdi galti ki hai..us galti ki wajh se mujhe uski har manmani sahni padti thi..wo jab chahe hath utha deta tha..mujhe meri psand ki dresses nhi pahnne deta..aur na hi clg k alaba kahi bahar jane deta yaha tak ki wo apni GF ko daily ghar lekar aane lga..or mein family ko kuch nhi bta payi..
Waqt ke sath ye matter thoda sa shant ho gya aur meri Saurya se fir se FB par bat hone lagi..Kahi na Kahi mein Saurya ko Chahne lagi thi but ye bat khud hi nhi sajh pa rhi thi ki ye attraction,aadat thi ya love…Kuch dino Bad Saurya ka Accident ho gya tab mujhe realize ho gya ki It’s Love..aur maine ye bat Saurya ke samne Confess bhi kar li..Saurya ne bhi haa bol Diya..
Un Pal m toh Sab kuch acha lagne lga tha..kbhi ye nhi socha ki future m kya problems aa skti hein iss riste ki wajah se..Pata hi nhi chla kb mein apne sapne ko bhulkar har pal Saurya k Khayalon m Khoyi rehti thi..Fb or Phone par hi bat karte the but 2 sal tk mile nhi..Ek din Saurya mere ghar k pas se nikal kar jaa rhe tha to mein usse milne chali gyi..aur ye bat mere bhai ko pta chla gyi..bhut mara usne mujhe..wo khud GF se milta tha..Sab kuch janne k Bad bhi mein Chup rhi..har daily kisi na kisi choti-2 bat k liye uski mar khati..Saurya se milna sayad meri life ki sabse badi galti thi..Jiske liye aaj tak mein khud ko maaf nhi kar paa rhi hu..Us din mein apni hi najron m gir gyi apni apni family ko dhokha dekar..
Waqt gujarta gya..Thodi smjhdari aayi..19 sal ki age m ye lagne lga ki family humare riste ko accept nhi kregi..Jis riste ka koi future nhi..us riste ko rkahkar bhi kya karna..Us waqt lga ki kyu mein apne sapne se bhatki..kyu kisi se itna emotionally attach hui..Aur maine Saurya se alag hone ka decision liya..Saurya mere decision se Nakhush tha..Mein usse alag ho gayi..but 2-4 din se jyada dur nhi reh payi..esa 3-4 bar hua..Usko lagne lga ki mein usse time pass kar rhi hu..but such to ye hai ki mein mentally weak ban chuki thi but..Chahti to bhut thi Saurya ko par bhai ke daily-2 torcher ki wajah se mein Ghut-2 kar rehne lagi..Fir maine Khud ko bhut strong bnaya or kareeb 1 sal tk Saurya se bat nhi ki..usko sab jagah se block kar diya..jisse yad aane par bhi bat nhi ho paye..ye sab karke mein khush to nhi thi but Saurya ki yadon se khud ko dur karne ka yhi rasta tha..Ek dusri id bnakr daily uski profile check karti..din bhar roti rehti thi..Aakhir hu to ek insan hi..Ek din khud ko usse bat karne se nhi rok payi or baton ka silsila fir start to gya..
1 sal pahle meri PG complete ho gayi..clg complete hone ke bad dusre bhai ne bhi mera ghar se bahar jana band karwa diya..kuch kaam rahta to bhi mna kar dete..bhut bar maine bhai ko samjhane ki kosis ki to wo bolte hai ki fikar karte h isliye kahi nhi jaane dete..fikar ka matlab ye to nhi ki tum mujhe ghar m qaid kardo..Bahut samjhane k bad bhi bhaiyon ki soch change nhi hui..Saurya milne aur bat karne ki bolta tha but mein majboor thi..Poore time ghar m akeli rehti thi but family ko dhokha dekar ghar se bahar nhi jana chahti thi..Us tym phone bhi kharab ho chuka tha to batein bhi kabhi-2 hi ho pati thi meri saurya se..Mein ye to janti thi ki Saurya mujhe bhut chahta hai…usko maine apni problems samjhane ki bhut kosis ki but saurya ko hmesa yahi laga ki in 5 sal m mera pyar sirf jooth tha..usko lga ki jab mera man kiya tb bat krli aur jab mn kiya tab chhor diya..Jab bharosa hi nhi bacha to humara rista bhi hmesa ke liye toot gya..Bhut pyar hote hue bhi
misunderstandings ki Wajah se 5 sal ka rista toot chuka tha..wo aakhiri batein jo Saurya ne gusse m mujhse kahi..wo sayad mere liye bhut hi jyada dard dene wali batein thi..
Ek taraf to apno ki Chhoti soch ke bich qaid huyi..aur dusri taraf Saurya ke dil m khud ke liye nafrat dekhkar mein tootkar bikhar chuki thi..Dheere-2 depression m chali gyi..bat bat par gussa aane lga tha..Na khana khane ka mn karta tha na hi khush rahne ka..har pal khud ko itna dard deti jisse strong ban saku..bas ek bat janti thi ki depression m suicide nhi karna hai..kyuki Jab ek ladki Suicide karti hai to wajah kuch bhi ho..Family ki izzat par sabse pahle ungli uthayi jati hai..Aur fir mein kaise bhul sakti thi ki abhi to mujhe papa ki afsar bitiya banna hai..Waqt ke sath maine khud ko Saurya ki yadon se bahar nikala..But fir ek nayi problem samne khadi thi..
Ghar m kisi chiz ki koi kami nhi thi..kami thi to pyar ki..hmesa chahti thi ki meri family bhi mujh par trust kre..Papa Heart Patient hai to Unse hum sub har bat chuupa kar rakhte the jisse unhe hurt na ho…Meri di ki Shadi nhi ho rhi thi..uski age 29 sal hai..Govt. job bhi thi..but kahi bat nhi bni..3-4 riste aage se bhi aaye but wo log di k sath meri bhi shadi karna chahte the..jab di ki sahdi m problem aa rhi thi to sabne socha ki meri age 23 sal ho gyi hai..aaj nhi to 1 sal bad hi sahi..shadi karni h..Papa ki aksar tbiyt kharb hone ki wajah se maa ko bhi yhi sahi lga..mein kuch samjh hi nhi paa rhi thi ki mein shadi ke liye ready hu bhi ya nhi..agar family ne kuch pucha to mein kya answer dugi..bs ese lga ki kuch pal m mere sare sapne bhikhar gye ho..God ne sayad meri pray sun li thi jo meri di ke liye bhut acha rista aa gya..or abhi kuch din phle shadi bhi ho gyi..but inn sabne mujhe andar tak hila kar rakh diya..kbhi Shaurya ka khyal bhi aata to ab ye soch pahle aa jati h ki family shadi ki soch rahi h..agr fir se Saurya ki life m wapas gyi to sayad muskile aur bad jengi..
Huamre hi kuch relative chahte h ki meri shadi Shaurya ke hi ghar m ho..but saurya ke 2 bade bhai bhi hain..jinki shadi abhi nhi hui..wo log meri or shaurya ki family ko emotionally blakmail karte hai..unhone phle meri di ki shadi shaurya ke bhai se krwane ki kosis ki but tab di ki shadi to nhi ho payi..Shaurya k bina shayad jee lugi magar uske sath koi aur Uski aankhon ke samne kisi aur riste m bandhkar nhi..
Aaj mein 23 sal ki hu..ab to bhai jyada hath nhi uthate bas soch change nhi hui..abhi bhi fikar ke naam par bahar nhi jaane dete akele aur na hi pasnd ke kapde phnne dete..ab to in sabki aadat si ho gyi hai..Ek Sal se jyada time se Saurya se batein nhi hui but aaj bhi uski yadein mujhse andar hi andar mar rhi hain..Mein ye to janti hu Saurya mujhse kitna bhi naraj ho wo mere 1 msg par hi mujhe jarur maf kar dega..aaj fir se uski bahut yad aa rhi hai..But mein usse sayad hi ab kabhi bat krugi..kyuki mein uske samne kisi aur se shadi me bandhan m bandhi toh wo dekh nhi paega..abhi nafrat karke hi sahi wo apni life m aage bad gya hai..mein janti hu ki Majboori m hi sahi maine usko bhut Hurt kiya hai…but meri riste ki bat sunkar usko kahi jyada takleef hoti..
Ab Mein ye to nhi janti ki mere kya Sapne hai..Kaisi life chahti hu..kya banna chahti hu..Janti hu to bs itna ki meri family ko lge ki ab meri shadi karni h tbhi wo meri shadi kar denge..iss bat se koi fark nhi padta ki mein kya hu aur kya nhi..Ek din Bade Bhai ne Gusse m mujhe 1 sal ka waqt diya tha kuch banne ke liye..Mein nhi janti ki uss 1 sal bad meri life ki kya sacchayi hogi..Bas itna janti hu ki Majboori m hi sahi Saurya ko khud se dur karke sahi kiya..kyuki aaj wo mere sath hota to sayad mere sath-2 Saurya ke sapne bhi bikhar jate..:(
Saurya ko aaj bhi yahi lagta hai ki maine usse pyar nhi tym pass kiya hai..but ye sacchyi hmesa mere mn m rhegi ki…meri dil m uske siwa aur koi nhi hai..Bas un lamho ko kbhi nhi bhul sakti thi mein..jinme mein akeli to pahle se hi thi magar Saurya ka bharosa bhi mere sath nhi tha..
Ek bat mere man m hmesa rahti hai..aaj wahi keh rahi hu..Babu aapki Baby aaj bhi aapko bahut Chahti hai aur hmesa chahti rhegi..kash aapne mere har decision ke piche meri mental condition ko smjha hota to sayad alag hokar bhi hum ek dusre se jude rahte dilon m pyar lekar…Bhut miss karti hu mein aapko but Chahkar bhi aapko ye nhi bta paugi..I’m sorry aapka Dil dhukhane ke liye..:(…I still love u.<3
Aap logo ko sayad meri story bhut confusing lagi hogi..bhut kuch mix up ho gya hai..But Love to love hai jo aaj bhi mein Saurya se bhut karti hu..I hope aapko mere emotions samjh aaenge..comment jarur karna..:)

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