Hi, I’m kartik.
the story is a bit long… but trust me apko thoda bahut hi sahi par kuchh lesson milega, shayd “maturity” ko advance me samjhne ka chance mile… Coz I think… I’m elder than almost all of you lovely teenagers… J so Let’s start…
I was quite good if the matter is about girls 😉 … I had GFs… 1 in 12th, 1 in 1st term of FY. And so many girls in my friend circle, but I was quite friendly & good with them, never did anything wrong with any if them…well… When I was in SY I fell in love with a daughter of my father’s friend-cum-colleague, She was nice, cute, quite good/normal looking and … she was also in love with me, and we became the love birds,,, just after completing my college I joined masters. But in 2nd yr of my masters I got a job & good salary… so mai ex-student ban gya.
Ab maine socha ki kariban 2 saal ho gaye hai hamare pyar ko, toh chalo parents ko bta dete hai… par abhi uski (Piyu) padhai baaki thi, she is younger than me, 1 & half year.
Toh maine year pura hone par hi papa se bat karne ki sochi, than wo sal pura hote hi, mai papa k pas gaya aur unse bat ki ki mai 2 saal se kisi se pyar karta hun, papa ne kaha thik hai ham bat krenge unse. Mai bahut khush tha, hamare me toh caste ki problem ka saval hi nai tha, sab bade khuli soch wale the… but… As usual, ladki k parents ne (mai uncle kehke bulata tha)… mana kiya… maine us pr jyada dhyan nai diya kyunki hr love marriage me, ap chahe kitne bhi acche partner choose kro lekin 4-5 baar toh “NO” sun’ne ki taiyari rkhni hi pdti hai… uska bada bhai & badi bahan dono ki shadi ho chuki thi. Sb ne & uske papa ne bola ki hme apni beti ki shadi krni hai toh sochna to padega…
Maine socha koi bat nai… then hmne again baat ki, is bar uncle ne bola ki unhe apni beti k liye ladka dhudte wqt ladke k bare me jan’na toh padega… bas mere papa ko bura lag gaya. Ego pe lg gayi. Aur baat bigdne hi wali thi ki mere bhaiya ne bazi sambhal li aur ham ghar aa gaye, fir shayad papa aur uncle k bich office se ghar aate wqt kuchh tikhi-tikhi baat ho gayi… maine socha “take it easy, sab accha ho jayega”… pr mujhe kya pata tha ki mamla aur bigdega… chhota sa jagda ho gaya, pr us chhote se jagde me dono ne ek-dusre k ego ko kafi chot pahunchayi aur taane mare…
Is taraf mai aur Piyu pareshan ho rhe the, aur mai “take it easy” love marriage me to aisa hota hai bol ke use sambhal leta… 2-3 mahine baad mai jb dinner krne family k sath betha tha tb uska call aaya aur mai receive kiya aur bola bad me bat krta hun, tbhi papa ne bola ki ab tumne kya socha hai?…. mai- kya sochu, aap kuchh baat kro unse…. Papa- ab mai samne se wahan uska hath mangene nai janewala. Jo mera apman kre mai uske pas kyun jau…… Me- par aisa toh hota hai, ladki k parents hai, chinta me bol diya hoga… Tabhi papa gussa hoke bole ki- wo mujhe nai pta, ham koi aere-gere hai kya, agr unhe samjhota krna hai toh aaye mere ghar apni beti ka risht leke……. Me- pr koi samne se kaise apni beti ka hath dene aayega!!…… Papa- toh mai kya karu! …….Bas fir baat khatam. Maine 1-2 arguments aur ki aur papa ne bol diya ki ab mai us insan ki shakal bhi dekhna nai chahta… (maine socha ki agr ek bar uncle samne se rishta leke aayenge toh mamala thik ho jayega…)
maine Piyu ko call kiya aur bola ki bas ek bar apne papa ko bol, thoda sa smjha, bs ek bar koi 1 YES bol dega toh dusra family bhi YES kar dega. Piyu ne bola “do you know, tumhare papa ne hamse kaise bat ki thi”.. “yes, par manana toh padega,its love marriage, kuchh toh karna padega na” ,…usne ghar pe bat ki, par wahin bhi yehi sun’ne ko mila ki jisne mera apman kiya uske ghar me samne se kyun jaun!, Piyu ne manaya unhe, thoda maine manaya, maafi mangi aur wo mere ghar aake bat krne ko taiyar the, wo jb hamare ghr aaye toh mere papa ne “wel come” me hi pichhli bar ki bat pe 1 indirect taana mara… aur bol diya ki “ab tu samne se apni beti ka rishta leke aayega toh bhi mujhe nai krna koi rishta”… (papa ne toh khud kaha tha ki wo samne se rishta leke aaye toh haan kr denge lekin jab wo aaye toh unhone aise baat kar di…mujhe bura laga…wo apna apman bhul k mere ghar aye the, bhale hi papa mana kr de par itne gande terike se thodi na krte hai.!)
bas baat khatam… aur jagda shuru… wo wahan ek bhi sun’ne ko nai ruke aur chale gaye… wo gye tabhi maine apne kmre me jake Piyu ko call kiya aur bola ki tumhare parents wahan aake jo bhi kahe use chup-chap sun lena aur hr trh ki bat sun’ne ko taiyar rehna, mamala serious hai, & have faith on me”… fir mai apne papa se kaha ki “agr mana krna tha toh sidhe sidhe kr dete, aise ek-dusre ke ego hurt krne wale jagde kyun kiye, saf saf mana kr k bol dete ki- maaf krna par aap chale jao” papa ne mujhe bhi 2-4 baate sunai… usi raat ko bad me Piyu ne mujhe call kiya aur rone lagi bola ki “tumhare parents ne mere parents ko kya kya sunaya, ek toh wo samane se rishta leke aaye the aur fir bhi ap logo ne yeh kya kiya”… mai bhi use kya bolta, is bar toh galti mere papa ki thi…
mai dusre hi din unke ghar gaya aur maafi mangne ki koshish ki pr unhone toh mujhe sunane me kuchh baki hi nai rkha, mere papa k mukable toh unhone mujhe bahut jyada sunaya… aur wahin mere samne hi mere hi phone me se mere papa ko call kiya aur bola ki “dekh tera beta mere samne teri boli hui baato ki maafi mangne chala aaaya,.. tune apne bête ko izzat k sath jina nai sikhaya kya” ….
Ghar jate hi mere pe mere mom-dad tut hi pade… papa ne mujhe ek slap bhi mar diya… mai apne kmre me gaya, aur raat ko kuchh nai khaya… kariban 10:30 baje Piyu ka call a rha tha, par mera mood kharab tha isliye maine rcv nai kiya, usne lagatar call kiye pr maine 1 bhi nai uthaya, kariban 20 missed call k bad maine use msg kiya ki //mera mood kharab hai, abhi ghar me sab mere pe gussa ho rhe hai so mai baad me pakka baat karunga, plz//… ab mamla hamare hath se bahar tha, phir bhi maine socha “think positive, love marriage me toh family wale marriage k 2-3 month tak relation accept nai krte, toh abhi mana kr rhe hai usme kon si nayi bat hai, man jayege, wqt dete hai thoda”… dusre din maine Piyu se kuchh formality talk ki.
Is baat ko almost 5 month hone ko the. Mere aur piyu k bich 2-3 chhote chhote jagde bhi hue the, but solve bhi ho gaye… (Mere aur Piyu k bich bate aur mulakate chalti rhti thi…aur hamare pyar ko kriban 3 saal hue the, so aap samjh skte ho ki ham kitne aage badh gye hoge, sare limits cross ho chuke the) …so… mai ek din dinner le rha tha, aur tabhi Piyu ka call aya, waise toh agr mai ek bar me rcv na kru toh smjh jati ki yeh busy hoga, aur use mere dinner ka time bhi pta tha, toh mujhe kbhi disturb nai krti hti…par aaj usne lagatar call kiya, maine call rcv kiya aur usne kaha ki kuchh jaruri bat krni hai, maine phir bhi “baad me” keh k kaat diya, shayad papa ko shak ho gya… fir se 2-3 bar usne call kiya jo maine rcv nai kiya… fir mujhe laga ki kahin koi garbad hogi toh!?!…baad me mai bat krne upar chhat pe chala gya… usko kuchh probs. Thi jo usne share ki… mai jab niche gya toh sab TV dekh rhe the lekin shayad wo mere hi intzar me the…aur papa gusse me ho aisa lag rha tha, mere wahan jate hi papa ne bol diya ki “ho gyi baat?”… then “dekh tujhe aakhri bar bol rha hun, sab khatam kar de, warna tere liye accha nai hoga”…maine kaha “ok”… Piyu k papa ne apna promotion liya aur transfer karva di, waise wo up-down krte the, aur yeh log abhi yhin rehte the, kyunki Piyu ki study baaki thi.
Mere aur Piyu k pyar me koi fark pada nai tha, sab pahele ki jaisa hi accha accha tha, par ab wo bhi kya krti, ek beti apne ghar ki izzat hoti hai… wo agr apne papa ki bat na mane toh kya kre… hamara kafi bada jagda ho gaya… usne mujh se kaha ki “agr ham girls ghar chhod de toh –family ki izzat jaye… agr BF ko chhod de to- bewafa, unhe bas ladke ptana accha lagta hai… agr befikar hoke gume toh- character less… agr aap ladke apne parents ko chhod do to- ladki ki wajah se kiya…aur… manti hun mere papa ne tumhe bahut kuchh sunaya…par…galti tumhare parents ki thi, jab mere parents wahan aaye tb unhe acche se behave krna chaiye tha…” fir wo bahut roi, mai bhi kya krta, wo sahi toh bol rhi thi…
lekin… ham boys ki life bhi kahan asan hoti hai…agr mai apne parents ko bolta ki jake mafi mango toh “ladki k liye apne parents se ladega!? kash teri jagah beti peda hui hoti, bête toh kabhi apne parents ki izzat nai sambhalte, zara dekho us ladki ko apne parents k liye kya kr rhi hai, aur tum ho ki itne salo tk paalne walo ko thukra rhe ho”…
after all toh sbhi ki life me problems hote hi hai…itna bada jagda kyun kare aisa soch k maine usko promise kiya ki mai apne papa se fir baat karunga…
maine bat ki & and trust me… wohi baate sun’ne ko mili… maine papa se request kiya ki “plz ek bar, bas aakhri bar… kyunki baad me kya hua use agr aap bhul jao aur bas yeh socho ki 1st time jagda kyun hua tha, bas is liye hi na ki unhone mana kiya tha par wo log toh ladki k parents hai isliye apni beti ki chinta me bol diya hoga… bas ek bar…” unhone kaha ki thik hai bat karenge… maine Piyu ko call krke bataya ki mere parents aa rhe hai… tum apne parents ko bol dena ki ham aa rhe hai… aur unhe samjhana accha response dene ko… wo man gyi …waise bhi yeh last try tha hamara…ok.
ham unke ghar gaye toh unhone pahele toh ghar me bulaya. Paani pilaya aur fir papa ne “aap kya soch rhe hai baccho k bare me…” kehke baat start ki… par uncle ne bich me hi baat kat di.. . bole ki “aap wahi ho na jo keh rhe the ki samne se rishta layega toh bhi mana karuga, ab kya hua jo apko samne se aana pada”… papa mere samne gusse se dekhne lage par maine “plz” ka ishara kr k bol diya thoda shaant rehne ko… papa ne gussa control kiya… par papa ko maafi mangna toh jara sa bhi psnd nai hai, aur wo mangne wale bhi NAHI the, wo bas baat krke mamla thik krne wale the.. lekin uncle ne bich me hi kaha ki “ab aise to kya hua ki maafi mangne chale aaye” maine Piyu k samne dekha aur wo bhi confuse thi… aur yahan mere papa ka gussa aasman pe… uff! Fir se wohi hua… aaj tak caste ko bich me na lane wale caste pe utar aaye aur caste alag hone ki wajah se mrg nai ho skte wo topic bhi bich me aa gaya!!! Office me uske papa ki cadre mere papa se high thi, toh us bat ko bhi target banaya…wo base-less bat thi kyunki dono k department to alag the…!!…
Finally… papa ne mujhe keh diya ki “ek toh teri wajah se mai yaha apna ego chhod k sar jhuka k aaya, aur dekh abhi fir se isne mera sar jhuka diya…teri wajah se…”… baat bahut bigdi, purani baate yaad krke dono ne taane mare… bhaiya papa ko leke ghar chal diye… thanks to bhaiya… hamesha help karte hai…
is taraf mujhe 2-2 tension ho rhi thi, papa ko kya bolu aur mere & Piyu k rishte ka kya…
mujhe lga ki Piyu ne ghar me kisi ko kuchh bataya tha ki ham aane wale the ya nai? Ya aise hi ham chale gaye the?… maine use call kiya, usne ek bhi rcv nai kiya, maine late night tak call kiya… finally, usne msg kiya //I’m sorry, maine papa ko bola tha aisa na krne ko, pr unhone kiya, mai phone rcv nai kungi wrna tum gussa kroge//maine bhi keh diya //ok//.
Friends aap bore ho rhe honge, ek hi bat bar bar sun kr,but trust me, mai aapse bada hun, toh bat bhi toh lambi hi hogi na…sorry agr pak rhe ho to.
Well… aisa hi ho rha tha…then … we didn’t talk for a week… phir ham sirf formality talk kr dete…har roz… jyadatar toh 2-3 chat-msg hi krte… Piyu k yeh wale ghar me ab uske bhai-bhabhi rehte the, Piyu & uske parents unke office wale town me shift ho gaye… uski padhai over ho gayi thi aur use placement bhi mil gaya tha J yahin internship ho rhi thi.
ab mujh se rha nai gaya aur mai der tk office rehta,,, 1 din papa ne mujhe daanta aur maine keh diya ki papa aapko thoda sa control krna tha gusse pe, aap toh bas 1st line tk hi control rakha… papa mujh pe bhadak uthe… 2-4 thappad bhi khayi… aur ghar me kafi badi tragedy hui… mai almost ro pdne wala tha, par mai sambhal gaya, papa ne kaha mai nai rokta tujhe ja bhag k shadi kar le…mom ka emotional wala kissa bhi hua…
Mai hamesha se bhag k shadi krne k khilaf tha… kunki pyar chahe kitna bhi “pure” ho,bhaag gaye toh log aapko galat bat hi bolenge…
Yeh baate 2 din tak chali, aur finally maine socha ki mai ghar chhod dunga… 1 & half year se mai yeh jhel rha tha, toh aur kya karta… maine apne sare emotion ko ek letter me likha aur subah subah hi ghar chhod k chal diya… mom ne bhi nai roka… meri jo car thi wo leke fir mai hotel me rha 4-5 din tak… fir mai apne dost k ghar rha, wo hamari office k provided home me apni wife k sath rehta tha… maine apni office me home k liye apli. De di thi… fir aur maine sab kuchh Piyu ko bhi bata diya tha, use kaha tha ki tum aana chahogi mere sath, if yes toh mai lene aaunga tumhe… if no then its ok, I’ll manage… usne kaha ki use wqt chaiye… mai bhi smajhta tha, usne kaha ki mai tere sath chalu toh mere papa ki-aur- sath na chalu to tere papa ki beizzti hogi… maine kaha tu mat soch yeh sab bas haan ya naa bol dena…
Dusre din wo phone pe bahut roi… usne ghar pe baat kit hi aur ghar walo ne bina kisi virodh k bol diya tha ki jaana hai toh jaa…ham kyun rokenge, tu khud apni soch k hisab se kar…aur kya!!!… bas fir usne kaha ki wo faisla nai le skti… maine use kuchh nai kaha… us din mai bhi apne kamre me jake bahut roya…fir kariban 1 week k bad usne mujhe call kiya aur bola mere sath chalne ko… mai use lene gaya… aur wo car me bina awaz kiye bahut hi roi…
mai use leke… apne dost k ghar gaya… mujhe wo ghar provid kar diya gaya tha…jsme ham rehne lage.. fir bhi ham dono thode nervous rha karte… dheere dheere ham thik ho gaye… mom-dad ko leke ham dono anjan ban’ne ki koshish kar rhe the, par dono ko pta tha ki dono ko guilty ho rhi hai… fir maine use kaha thode din chhutti lete hai… ham gumne gaye… bas 2 din k liye…
ab dheere dheere sab normal ho rha tha, ham intzar me the ki hamare parents wo letters padh k hame zarur wapas bulayenge… ham 3 week ek sath rahe par abhi tak shadi nai ki thi… so main Piyu ko surprise dinner pe le gaya aur ghar aake ek official marriage proposal diya ;-)… usne haan kaha aur maine dusre hi din sab legal processes start kr di,aur shaadi kar li…sahib friends ko bula k party ki & all…
hamne socha tha ki mante hai parents k gusse me unka pyar hota hai, unko hamse aisi ummid nai hoti isliye wo jyada gussa hote hai… par kab tak… wo lette padh k toh koi bhi pigal jata…1-2- baar thik hai… abhi bhi yeh gussa?
Ham bahar gumne bhi gaye… you can say it honeymoon… bhaut enjoy kiya… par waps aakar phir wo hi baat… kash parent man gye hote… 2-3 month k baad mere bhaiya-bhabhi dono mujh se contact me aa gaye the…wo toh hamesha mere support me the… unki bhi love marriage thi… par unhe yeh sab jhelna nai pada tha… mai unke zariye pane parents ki kabar puchh leta… mere bhaiya-bhabhi ko beta hua & we enjoyed a lot… maine socha papa bulayenge hame par nai bulaya…
10 months…I tried to be connected with my dad but he didn’t respond. Upar se 2 baate aur sunai… even mom ne bhi… Piyu k bhai-bhan kisi ne koi contact nai kiya. Then 12 months… friends ko toh party de di, par sbke jane k bad us raat mai aur Piyu bahut dukhi hue… subah fir se wo mera dhayn rakhne lagi aur mujhe mehsoos hua ki maine life partner choose krne me jara si bhi galti nai ki… she’s the best for me… uske parents ko manane ki koshish k liye call krna chaha, but failed. Ab ham bhi aage badhna chahte the… so left it behind & movedon… 6 months more, then again 6 months more with all these stuff… 2 year of our marriage… my age was 24+.
4 months more & in the last week of sept’13 … she gave me “the good news” JJ … maine bhaiya ko bataya aur unhone kaha ki ab tu khud hi try kr, papa man jayenge… Piyu ko 2 month hone k bad maine baat krne ki koshish ki par papa nai mane… mai ghar gaya par unhone mujhe andar bulaya tak nai, mom ne bhi bas hal chal puchha & papa ne mujhe jane ko bol diya… Piyu k parents ko baat ki par uncle ne “uska dhyan rakhna & god bless you” keh k phone rakh diya… jab mai unke ghar gaya toh unhone just formality talk ki, mujhe wahan yunhi bethe rehne me bada hi ajib lag rha tha so 5 min. me mai wahan se chala gya, maine request ki ki aap aaona hamre yahan, par unhone saf saf mana kiya aur bol diya ki tum hamare ghar aaye isliye hamne roka nai, par ab mat aana… jis din Piyu ne ghar chhod diya us din se sab khatam.
Abhi July me hi pahele hi week me… she gifted me a very cute-cute doll… my daughter! J… I was so happy… I called my dad & I “forget” that he would not rcv the call… he did not rcv. But I was so happy & busy watching my lovely baby… 1 week k bad jab ham ghar aaye toh bad me Piyu k bhai & bhabhi aake blessings de gaye aur chale gaye… uski bahan toh milne bhi nai aayi… uske parents kuchh paise leke aaye jo hamne lene ko mana kr diye, unhone force kiya toh hamne bhi force kiya ki aap hame accept karo, unhone mana kr diya, bole ki ab yeh nai ho skta, yeh hamara farz tha isliye yaha aaj aye hai, warna na ate… Piyu ne unhe kuchh bate suna k emotionally weak krke manane ki koshish ki par wo to starting me hi sun’ne ko chale gaye… wo paise wahin rakh k gaye aur bol diya ki itna hi taras aa rha hai maa-baap pe toh waps mat kar… Piyu ne wo almari me rakh diye,lock kr diye… boli ki nai chahiye yeh sb…
Mai ek din use bina bataye papa ko milne chala gya, par papa ne bol diya ki “jis insan ne mera sar jukaya uski waja se maine tujhe bhi apne se dur kr diya aur ek tu hai jiski mai itni beizzti krta hun fir bhi tujhe bar bar yahan aate sharm nai aati”… ab aap hi batao kb tk mai unke gusse me unka pyar dhundta…!!! Finally mai bhi wapas aa gaya. Bhabhi ko pta nai tha ki mai yahan aaya wo Piyu ko pta nai hai… toh unhone phone pe piyu ko bola ki “tum kahan ho, tum anadar aa jao to papa man jayenge” tab piyu ko pta chal gaya…… jab mai ghar aaya toh Piyu ne mujhse puchha “papa mane?” mai kuchh nai bola, “chalo koi bat nai” aur wo normaly hi behave krne lgi… na koi shikayat na koi narazgi…I feel proud of her…
Uske bhai ne mujhe sunaya “remember one thing – you too have a daughter, i hope ki wo Piyu jaisi harkat na kare”… mujhe bura laga,,, meri beti aisa kyun kregi, mai use nai rokunga,, haan, agr meri arranged mrg hoti toh mujhe pta na hota ki bacche parents k liye kya feel krte hai, par mai janta hun ki ham love mrg me apne parents k liye kitne tadpe hai… toh kyun mai apni beti ko rokunga… aur ego ki wajah se toh kabhi nai, coz I’m experienced… mai use sirf tabhi rokunga jab uska BF galat ya awara ladka hoga… otherwise… no.. aur abhi toh at least 22-23 saal ki der hai… mai kyun abhi se yeh sab sochu… jo hoga future me dekhenge… kya pta kya hoga us wqt… maine yeh baat abhi tak Piyu ko nai batayi… I think batani bhi nai chahiye… sahi kaha na?!
Mai & bro. hamesha joint family k bare me hi sochte the, hamare parents & hamare bacche sab ek hi ghar me rahenge toh kitna accha rahega,,,sabhi k liye…but…
Just 2 weeks ago, mere dad ne declar kiya ki “mera is shakhs k sath koi rishta nai hai, property me koi hissa nai hai, iske sath agr aap koi bhi relation rakhoge toh usme hamari koi responsibility nai hai…etc…”… mai bahut hi bura feel krta tha… aisa toh kya kiya maine jo unhone mujhe apna beta man’ne se inkar kr diya… kabhi toh socha karo… saval sirf ego ka nai tha, unhone apni professional life ko bhi isme shamil kiya tha, office me dono ki post k level ko bhi bich me la diya thi… kash wo bhi in sb ka difference jante hote…
abhi mai thoda bore ho rha tha, nind nai aa rhi, she is sleeping… that’s why I wrote this… I love my dad, he is my hero… kash wo hame samjh pate… sorry to OUR parents… & still requesting… accept us…we love you!
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Yaar sabke sath aisa hota he , but don’t worry be happy jab papa ko malum parega to gale se laga lenge aapko
But ek baat bolu aapko , aap khushkismat ho k aapke pass aapka pyar nd dad dono he ,mere pass dono nahi he .
But aapko abhi bhi papa ko mnaa na chahiye….chahe wo aapko kitna bhi bura nai bole…..Jab unhone aap ko aisa kaha that sharam nai hai bar bar chle aate Ho.
That time aapko kehna chahiye tha papa ko manane me kesii sharam……& esme aap ke ego hurt nai hona chaahiye……1000 time aapko try krna chaahiye wo zarur manenge…& that’s my challenge
Hello first of all I want to congrats u for your baby ur story is really owsome I like your story and abhi mai Sirf 22 ka hua and mai bhi love marriage karna chta hu…….
OK by take care and I pray for you ur family except you…
Shabbir yar, papa ko bhi toh pata hai ki mai kyun har bar unhe manane aata hun, toh man kyun nai jate… i mean… aise koi apne bbete se bhaav thodi na khata hai… muhe bhi bura lagta hai jab wo mujhe aise taane marte hai… fir bhi mai “papa hai” aisa soch k apna self-respect chhod k unhe manata tha, abt oh unko hi man jana chahiye na… tu hi soch agar aisi hi baate tere friend ya kisi aur bande ne ki hhoti toh ka tu uske hath-pair tod k na rakh deta?!
yeh to had hoti hai yar…
Bro sometimes ego is more important than anything else for a person. Kyuki piyu ke papa tumhare papa ki rank se niche the isliye tumhare papa ko bura laga ki main apni ego apne se niche ki position ke aadmi se kaise hurt kara sakta hu. By the way May Allah bless you and may every sort of misunderstanding between you and your father get diminished soon.
parent’s bhi jaldi maan jaenge? lekin shayed aisa pyar dobara nhi milta apko kartik
Seriously god SB dekh rhe h parents b jarur maan jaayenge
I think you are a new player/ Fresher?
You are on mrunal’s site… Just search and you’ll get strategy 4 everything.
Still I’m giving you some ideas, based On my experience.& mrunal’s advice.
(I’m also preparing from last year along with my graduations so,I’m not feeling so confident , 2015 is my first attempt and I’m hoping for the next attempt. :-/)
…,…
1st- be a serious player. Do not take anything/time for granted. Check do you really want this or more comfortable with back up plans!? Do naav pe paanv mat rakho.
are you able to give 2-3 years…? Check your +ve & -ve.
2nd- syllbus ka ratta Maro. :-p
3rd- check overlap areas. So that you can do prelims & mains – sath sath.
4th- read mrunal’s strategy for how to become an ias/IPS…..
polity…
Just complete laxmikanth.
Check the index of the book.
mrunal has suggested how to read laxmikanth, follow him,divide book in 15-17 segments. (Each segment with 2-3 chaps.of a topic & related topic) then read the book.
read 1 segment a day. As per your capacity &”revise it” on the same day- within 24 hours…( it means you are reading the book two times simultaneously. Ha ha) .. so finally – 17 segments=17 days. With revision. Yo man!
Why 3 times?
1st reading= read the book to know the syllabus, identify topics & what they mean, write down the meaning of difficult words there in vertical margins. (horizontal margins are for notes making)
Then look the previous year’s questions- seriously. to identify what are the imp. Points, & to understand the topic.
2nd reading.=
Use highlighter (actually this book is “notes” itself) … you can now read 2 segments per day
= 7-8 days over, with revision. (25-26 days gone)
3rd reading. … Now you understand all the things. & you can read 3-4 segments on 1 day.
= 5-7 days… 1 month over. You’ve done with laxmikanth – 6 times Balle balle!!
then… solve all questions (that book+ GS manual quest.) – do it- “honestly”
. … Not more! Plz.
If you can’t do this don’t worry, you can read it 2 times also coz you are doing revision at the same time… some call my strategy as “donkey like hard work” & I agree. But sometimes you can change your strategy if you understand the things in limited studies.
Doesn’t matter how many times you studied the book. The thing matters– have you understood or not.
Economy-
have faith on mrunal. (Go with him) + ncert class 11.(ncert will take 2 days for 1 reading…after one reading you can read it simultaneously with other subject to prevent “being bored”)
ramesh Singh if you want to, I don’t know about it. I haven’t touched it yet. So!
But if you are doing it then plz don’t go out of 1 or 1.5 month time limit.
Remember economic survey & budget are there….
Geo=
Rajtanil’s lectures are the best. Speed up the video & watch.
(For Indian/world geography- Make atlas dirty!)
(& then go for ncert- I assure you, you will feel like you are reading “akbar-birbal” story book, then you can go for GCL- “just for your satisfaction”- coz it costs ~300 rs.& everything is covered in rajtanil’s lecture.) —
revise The videos! (Like polity- within a day) (You can do one topic in 3-4 hours. So it is possible.2 hour morning, 4 hour evening, 2-3 hours night…you still have afternoon time for nap/ samosa/ movies/ “wo” wala movies/ girlfriend 😉 & …for revision also.)
Or…
Lets make it simple.
You can also do like this.
— this is the strategy for one day..–>
video of xyz topic
+ read ncerts chaps related with that topic. (Automatically revision done!)
+ (if you have) majid Hussain/khullar/Singh books than read related chapters of the topic. (So automatically= it is re-revision.;-))
= you revised the topic 2-3 times in a day. & gone through all imp. Books.
(If you don’t have those books then read ncert again or read articles on mrunal, GSmanual… Whatever.. But do revision – that’s the thing. Here if a topic is big and you cant do revision ok. Take time. Do not do toooo much at a time. Relax. Give 1 & a half month. But wisely.)
Rajtanil lectures- “topic wise”- total 12-15 lectures. So you can do this 2 times in a month.
give 1 month. Solve questions.
modern History- read part-3 of class 12 & then rajiv ahir… If time permits then go for selected items of bipan Chandra (not necessary coz rajiv ahir’s book is his notes from diff. Books incl. Tamilnadu books) give 15 days to 1 month.
Ancient & medivel history – I love it so I don’t have special strategy for it. But read & revise what else…
Like read – 1 topic from all ncert books/ref. book at same time… Then another topic… it will not take too much time.if you are interested.
For current affairs- I’m still confused yar! Either read news paper or any magazine. (last I will talk about it)
Now, complete the remainings. Specially environment. – you know what to prepare. 😉
Science- we don’t know from where they ask quest. So don’t know from where to prepare, but read 6 to 10 class ncert. You can read 1 book in 1-2 days. Simple.7-10 days enough.
You then read 11-12th ncerts selected areas.
Then topics related with current affairar– IR, schems..whatever… etc… do it in another months simultaneously.
optional…depends on subject but give 3 months for core syllabus. Earlier people was used to do 2 optionals in 3 months.
Summary
So… 1 month for, pol.+eco+geo+history+ extra= 4-5 months
3 months for optional
=(pregnancy) over- I mean- 9-10 months over.… now go to hospital & deliver the baby. I mean join/get test series paper solving & getting the marks… give those test seriously like real upsc exam.. Why? watch or read Roman saini’s video/interview
Now time take care of baby= revision. This time you can do two subject at one time. You can change subject when you get bored…
you can do revision of polity,/geo/ history simultaneously with optional prep. .. When you get bored with optional prep.
but just for “total” 2 hours… In a day.
.now provide nutrition to the baby= essay writing practise. Or preparing just points for essay & mains ans. And yeap… Oxygen=revision
One suggestion-( Until you complete core syllabus)
do one subject at one time .. Don’t do like – morning mein history- evening mein polity…
If you get tired- like in afternoon- solve maths. But don’t change GS- subject)
…
You can do revision after completing core…
Don’t make notes/highlighters at 1st time reading. ..Do it on second reading.
(..after 1st reading check & try to solve previous yrs quest.)
If possible- Make notes in books-marginal notes, sticky notes. So you don’t have to flip papers (save paper, save energy, save time, save nature.)
Well….
Don’t read newspaper for 2-3 hours until you complete polity & economy…just read it for being updated…once you complete the core syllabus…than only you can go for it.
As far as coaching is concerned… after joing 3 diff. coaching I’m on the conclusion that you don’t need coaching. But yeah, you should go for it if you are very new to any topic. Or at least make some contacts to good friends who have joined coaching.
Coaching gives us satisfaction … but fees for that satisfaction is “time”- very costly right?!?
Coaching will take 1 lakh fees + petrol+ tea + snacks & many more. Like outfits…
This is what I learned from my own “Thik thak” prep.
Coz I was preparing along with graduation, now I’m doing in full time. I wish I will able to crack it in next attempt.
…..
I cannot give more advice.
Just last one– have faith on mrunal & you..
….
Ab kuchh Aur mat puchhna…I have spend my whole afternoon on writing these comments for you..I’m helping you coz no one was there to help me when I was asking such things to everyone….
……good luck, bro.:-)… pass ho jao toh bhul mat jana… bye.
Wait. Some more advice.
Download ncerts-topic wise zip folder from mrunal. So that you can go topic wise. Then save it in your smartphone.. Trust me it will help you in quick revision- like in bus, or when you are waiting for your gf ;-)..the chaps of 6-7-8 class are small & good with photos…you’ll enjoy it..I was a kid who never liked e-books. But one day I was boded in bus & I started reading those chhota-chhota colorfull chaptera in phone… And I like it… Its nice.
If you have ncerts hard copies than usko faad kar topic wise kar do…! Aur wahin marginal notes banao. Ncert ne bahot margin di. hai
Shankar IAS book chaho to kharid lo… As you wish.
…
World history & world geo Jaise ekdam new topic (maims me hai) use prelims k bad karna… Mains k baki topic current affairs related hai.. Wo ho jayenge… Tum khud Sikh jaoge…
So… Hope you have read all my comments seriously 😉 bye bye.
For maths..
Just make a small diary or note for formulas… 5-10 rs. Vala copy..le aana.
& when you get how to solve it then solve it anywhere…like in local-newspaper margin or rough books or whenever, ptrika, currier cover, postcard,envelope..m. No need to make special copy … And you won’t get ‘internal marks” like school for neat & clean copy…
For reasoning.. One you’ll love it ….and know the formula then you’ll able to do the same …no need for special fullscapes… Remember in upsc exam you have to solve quest. In margins right… So again save paper/nature/time & energy.
…
Aur kuchh bacha ho to I’m sorry. Jitna yaad aaya likh diya. …
Bye.
thanks a lot.tumne sach kahne ko kaha par mai jaanata hu aise fathers ko wo kabhi nahi maanege aur unki wajah se maa nahi maanegii,bus apna kaam karte jaao,kuch expect mat karna warna toot jaaogee,yaad rakhna har insaan ko apne kiye hue kaam ka pata rahta hai,unhe apni galti ka ahsaas bhi hoga par wo nahi ayenge,nahi manege,kyuki unko principalas par jeene ki aadat hai aur wo hamesha rahegii.mai tumhe jhoota dilaasa nahi dena chahta hu,aur god se meri wish hai ki mai galat ho jaoo.apne pariwar ka khayal rakho,wahi sab kuch hai.tc