mai hua kya se kya – pankaj

hiiii,
mera naam pankaj h, aaj sb kuch khtm hue 2 yrs ho chuke h pr meri life me 2 sec v aise nhi bite jb m use bhula paya hu..
m ek CA student hu. thora naughty hu kisi k sth mjk krna mje bahot achha lagta tha kbhi kbhi new no. se frnds ko msg krke prsn krne me bada maja aata tha.. meri is aadta se mere pure group me frnds mje bahot psnd karte the. luv suv ko mai kvi nhi manta tha par ek bar audit k liye apne ek offce k frnd k sth mje bahar jana pada karib 15 days k liye to meri mere frnd se bet lagi or usne mje 2 no. diye or kaha inhe prsn karke btao pr mje ye nhi bataya k ye dono nos. ladkiyo k hai. mne pure 15 days tk audit k bad hotel pr aate hi msg krna suru kiya pr mai koi bhaddi baat nhi krta tha decent msg hi send krta hu. fr dono no. se phn aane lage pr m phn rcv nhi krta tha. pr ek no. se to msg v aane lage ki m koun hu msg kyu kr rha hu or baat kyu nhi krta hu pr m v bada sararti tha mne kaha balance nhi h to msg aaya ki phn rcv kyu nhi krte to mne kaha mera phn khrab h. aise hi krte hm waps aa gye or mera nov 2009 ka exam start ho gya or mne msg kr diya i’ll be back on 16th nov. & mne phn off kr diya. pr ab tk mje ye nhi pta tha k meri baat kisi ladki se ho rhi h.

phr exam khtm ho gye or mne msg krna suru kiya pr next day 18th nov 2009 ko 5.00 am mje unknwn no. se phn aaya or mne rcv kr liya or tb mje pata chala k wo ek ladki h..m anjan ladki ya fr yu samjiye ki kisi v ladki se baat nhi krta hu class me v nhi krta tha kyuki mje lagta tha kahi luv suv na ho jaye or mere papa kahte the ki ladke kya kam par gaye h frndsp k liye. pr pata nhi kaise us anjan ladki se mne almost 30 minutes baat ki. pr call end hone tk ye decide ho chuka tha k m use ab msg nhi krunga or na hi ab hmari koi baat hogi pr usne na to mjhe data or na hi hmare bich koi jhgda hua tha pr muje pata chala k uska naam monika h or wo munger me rahti h or mne v use bataya k m jsr se hu.
pr uske baad m hmesha uske hi baare me sochne laga tha lekin 2-3 din bad uska msg aaya gm wish fir mne v use msg krna suru kr diya ab daily hm dono k bich msg hone laga tha ab phn pr baate v hone lagi bs frndsp jaisi baate. usne mjse phn krne ko mana kiya tha k uske bhaiya log sakki h to bs jb uska phn aata hmri bbate hoti thi.
almost 1 month se hmari baate ho rhi thi ab monika mjse girlfrnd, lyf partner etc ki baate krne lagi thi wo mje kahti thi k mje monika se pyar ho gya h or mai hmesha mana kr deta tha. 31st dec 2009 ko mne use kaha k aaj raat hm baate karenge or 2009 se 2010 me sth sth jayenge to wo maan gyi pr aisa kuch nhi hua 11:45 pm se 2:30 am tk mai phn lagata rha pr netwrk nhi mila m dukhi hokr so gya.. subah baat huyi to pata chala wo v mera no. try kr rhi thi pr baat nhi ho payi..
ab moni or m subah k 2 bje se 5 bje tk baate krte the din me v m offce me hota to v kuch v krke moni se baat krta tha moni kahti thi k moni ko mjse pyar ho gya h or m manta nhi thi ab feb aa gya tha 4th feb 2010 m subah gym k liye nikalta tha pr gym nhi pahuchta tha bs moni se baat krke laut jata tha moni ne kaha k ab agr mje us se pyr nhi h to hme baate nhi krni chahiye or wo mjse gussa hokr phn kaat di or phn off kr diya pr mne usi tym uske chhoti maa k phn pr phn kiya or use phn on krne ko kaha. tb usne mje btaya k wo jan bujhkr mjse jhgda kr rhi thi or ye sochkr phn off kiya tha k agr m use pyar krta hu to uski chhoti mmy ke phn pr call krunga or mne wahi kiya ab mje v lag rha tha k mai moni se pyar krne laga hu. phr mne v use luv u too kah diya.
ab sb kuch badl gya tha m kisi ko phn ya msg nhi krta tha bs moni hi meri zindgi bn chuki thi m kb kya sochta hu wo sb smj jati thi or moni kb kr rhi h or kya soch rhi h m v sb kuch bina use dekhe smj jata tha.

jb wo mje i luv u pankaj bolti thi aisa lagta tha ki wo wrds mere saaso se hote huye mere andr sama gya h.. hm 3 4 ghnte tk baate krte rahte the or hr 10 – 15 minute pr i lv u & lv u too kahte the pr pata nhi kaise jb m i lv u bolne wala hota tha usi tym wo v kahti thi or luv u too v hm takra jate the or hsne lagte the. m soch rha tha k bhagwan achnk mje itni khusi kyu de rha h.. m kbhi v moni se naraj nhi hota tha ab june aa chuka tha moni ko lgta tha m tym pass kr rha hu syd isliye moni kbi din me phn ya msg ka rply nhi krti h to m naraj nhi hota hu wo mere frnd jiske through uska no. mila tha us se v baat krti thi pr as a frnd lekin fr v m naraj nhi hota tha m nhi chahta tha k kvi v mera pyar uske liye bojh bane wo aajad thi..

pr ab mera dil v naaraj hona sikh chuka tha mje agr wo phn ya rply nhi kr pati thi or preinform v nhi krti tho gussa aata tha…pr mera gussa hona moni ko bahot achha lagta tha ab to aisa lagne laga tha ki moni k bina to mai mar hi jaunga jb wo kahti thi pankaj mai tmse dur nhi rah sakti mje kahi le chalo jaha mai tmhare sth rah sakti hu pnkj tm nhi jante agr tmhare alawa kisi se shadi krni padi to mai mar jaungi koi or mje touch krega to mai khud ko khtm kr lungi….

ab jb v hmari baate hoti ending hmare aasuon se hoti thi mje yaad nhi ki mai kvi v kisi cheez k liye roya hu pr wo moni thi jiske liye main roya tha mai chup chap uski bate sunta rahta tha or mere aankho se aansu aate the bina btaye v moni smj jati thi k mai ro rha hu or bina uske btaye hi mje pata chal jata tha k wo ro rhi h…..
m hmari baato ko record kr leta tha or uske phn aane me der hoti thi to bs sunta rahta tha…hmari is luv story ko maine or moni ne kisi se v share nhi kiya tha…. hmare bich jb baat hoti to sb kuch bhul jaate the hm…pr mje lagta tha ki pata nhi jb moni mje dekhegi to pasnd karegi ya nhi ye baate jb m moni ko kahta to moni mjse gussa ho jati thi or kahti thi k mai bs use ab tk itna hi smj paaya hu….or jb moni mjse puchti thi k kya wo mje psnd aayegi to m hmesa kisi v halat me mmoni ko apna bnane ke liye ready tha…13th sep ko uska bdy tha or mne usko bdy card or ek red rose courier se send kiya jo usko mila pr bdy wale din nhi wo use pakr bahot khus thi ab moni mjse milna chahti thi or m v milna chata tha….maine moni k liye ring kharida or usse milne ka plan bnaya 28 oct 2010 ko milna tha patna me.. moni nalanda open university me padti thib.com final year tha uska wo biskoman bhawn university k library me mje milne k liye bulayi thi…..m v ghr me jhoot bol diya ki frnd ka exam h patna me to wo akele nhi jana chahta h to mai uske sth ja rha hu… m patna pahuch gya station k pass hi hotel me room liya. mje ready hote hote thora late ho gya or monika library pahuch chuki thi… m waha pahucha cadburry ka large pack liya kyuki moni ko chocolate bahot pasnd the ek rose liya or pahuch gya… mne use dekha uske samne jakr baith gya mje smj nhi aa rha tha kya baat karu fr moni ne mje apne bagal wale chair pr aane ko kaha kyuki desk bahot bada tha or hm thk se baat nhi kr paate…phr hmne 4 ghnte sth bitaye mje lag rha tha ki syd wo mje psnd nhi kr rhi h mne use kaha v pr uski aankho me aansu aa gye phr mne iske baare me kuch nhi kaha…….phr usne gft k baare me pucha to mne ring dikhayi or use dene laga to moni boli aise nhi apne haath se mje pahnao or mne library me monika ko ring pahnaya…pr jb hm waha se niklne wale the to usne mje mere gaal pe ek kiss di or rone lagi phr mje bahot bura lag rha tha ki hmri shadi ka koi chance h nhi intercaste mrrge nhi kr sakte….mai soch chuka tha k ab kbhi m! oni ko p hn nhi krunga.. ab tk hm library me hi the usne mjse kiss return krne ko kaha m ajib sa mahsus kr rha tha badi muskil se mne use kiss return kiya or waha se chala aaya fr mne pure din na to msg kiya na hi phn or yhi sochta rha ki moni mje psnd kri ya nhi uska v phn nhi aaya…
m hotel k room me bilkul udas sa pada tha raat k 10.30 bje as our routine was uska phn aaya puri raat baat huyi or mje laga ki sb thk h m hi pagal hu apni zindgi (moni) ko galat smj rha hu… next day v hme milna tha pr moni ki tbiyat khrab ho gyi or mera v return ticket tha so m v waps aa gya phr uske baad moni msg krke kuch na kuch bahana bna deti or hmari baat nhi ho paati thi…mere liye ye aasan nhi tha pr mne moni ko promise kiya tha ki mera pyar kbhi uske liye bojh nhi rhega so m smj gya ki wo mje psnd nhi krti bs rote huye 2 din beet gye….phr wo frnd jisne mje moni ka no. diya usne btaya ki moni ko us ladke se pyar ho gya h…..

ab mere sth wo hone lagatha jiske liye m kbi taiyaar nhi tha bs jeene ka mn rah gya tha mera sari duniya jhooti lagne lagi thi sb kuch mere sth jo v hua jhoot lag rha tha……..aaj tk mai monika ko bhool nhi paaya hu…or usne mje do dino me bhula diya ab to lagta h lyf me kbhi kisi see pyr nhi kr paunga…..smj nhi aata jee rha hu to kaise or mar jaau to kiske liye…kbhi socha nhi tha ki jo mere liye sb kuch sari duniya chodne ko taiyaar thi use mje chodne me do din nahi lage….smj nhi aata sawal karu to kis se karu moni se, khud se, god se, kismat se….kon h jise sbkuch share karu…..dil phat rha h mera…..jb moni thi to jndgi kitni chhoti lagti thi….ab nhi h to lagta h god ne lyf itni lambi kyu bnayi..????
mai kya tha….ab mai hua kya se kya..???

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